Sunday, August 9, 2009

Adoption Disappointment

So as are family and close friends know, the adoption fell through at the last minute. Here is what happened for everyone.

On Friday July 31st we received a call at about 5:30am that the birthmom was in the hospital and they thought her water had broke. At about 6am we received another call and she was being checked again. We were told to wait to come up because she might be sent home, which she was. The hospital was full so they were not able to induce her until Saturday.

On Saturday August 1st we were up and at the hospital at 7:30am. When she was checked again we found out that her water had broke but, because the baby was so low there wasn't the gush it was just leaking. The Pitocin was started and at 3:15pm a baby girl was born 7lbs 9oz and 19.5 inches long.

Mike and I were not in the delivery room but, called into the room shortly after and she was handed to us. I was able to give her her first feeding. Then she was taken to the nursery to be cleaned up. Mike and I decided to leave for a couple of hours and get dinner.

We were then back up the the hospital and were able to feed and hold her more. At around 10pm we were informed that the hospital had called their Social Worker to talk to the birthmom and us. It is standard when an adoption is being done. The Social Worker talked to her and then came out and said that everything sounded good. The birthmom was feeling good about giving us the baby and everything was looking good. The birth grandma even told the social worker how confident they were about choosing us. We said goodbye to them and told them we would be back in the morning. We arrived home after 11pm and crashed.

The next morning we were up and at the hospital around 8:30am. One thing we had found out the night before was that we needed to have Power of Attorney already in place in order for us to be able to be alone with the baby. We had not called our lawyer on Friday to let him know she was going to be induced, so this was not in place. The only way we could spend time with the baby was to be in the room with either the birthmom or grandma. On Sunday I spent time with her and was able to feed and hold her for the whole time we were there.

At about 2pm I decided we needed to eat and we went to Mike's moms' house to eat lunch. His sisters were there and we were both excited to talk about the baby and show them pictures of her. We went back up to the hospital a couple of hours later and the birth grandma was out front.
She stated that the birthmom was talking to her sister and needed a little time. She went up to check on her then they both came out and told us she needed some time alone. We stayed around and talked to them for awhile then decided to go back to Mike's moms' house for dinner.

At 7:30pm we headed back up to the hospital and when we walked in the door the Social Worker was sitting in the lobby and asked to talk to us. He stated that he had received a call a couple of hours ago and was asked to let us know that they had changed their mind and were keeping the baby. He was just as surprised by the decision as we were, because everything looked so good the night before.

My first response was angry. I stormed out of the hospital cursing them. Then when we got to the car I broke down sobbing. We just sat in the car for awhile then drove home and I lost it again. Mike held it together until I asked him to call his mom, then he started crying too.

We took the last week off and are leaving to go to UT to spend some time away from everything until Wednesday.

I have been asked many times about where we are going from here. The answer is we are starting back over. We have received some different offers included a surrogate mom offer and still looking at adoption.

Thank you to everyone for your support and prayers, it has helped us more than I can say.

2 comments:

-Des- said...

So sorry, Michelle. I'm inspired by your determination. You and Mike will be incredible parents and you will cherish the child you are blessed with. I'm praying for no more disappointments for you both. Stay strong. You are amazing.

jason and michelle clarke said...

We are so sorry with what has happened. We have and are keeping you guys in our thoughts and prayers. You have gone through a lot and you both amaze us, keep up the strong spirits!!